


Iris

by bloopy_moons



Series: Let's Play || Salt Squad One Shots [31]
Category: Salty Boys - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, F/M, M/M, References to Depression, Sad Ending, Song Lyrics, Songfic, Time Skips, Wades POV, happy birthday to her, like November 2017, song: Iris by the goo goo dolls, sudden switch of POV at the end, this is just all sad, this was written before Wade and Molly's wedding, written for a friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 09:52:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15216560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloopy_moons/pseuds/bloopy_moons
Summary: The one where Wade keeps all of his emotions locked inside in fear of people not understanding how he feels.Inspired by the song Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls





	Iris

_**And** _ **_I'd give up forever to touch you_ **   
_**'Cause I know that you feel me somehow** _   
**_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be_ **   
**_And I don't wanna go home_ ** **_right_ ** **_now_ **

Wade pulled his carry on over his shoulder as he approached the rest of the group. They all were saying their goodbyes, exchanging hugs and safe trips to one another. Pax had just ended, yet the excitement was still stirring in the air around him.

Wade watched as JP hugged Patrick and Gar, the three of them laughing at something JP had said. Wade approached them, smiling too. Minutes later they can hear Patrick's and Gar's flights to California being called. The group stopped laughing, all of them exchanging hugs a final time before the two men ran off to their planes.

JP sighed, turning to Wade and Molly since they were the only three left.  _Molly,_ Wade thought,  _why did Molly have to be here_? Wade kept his eyes on JP as the three of them talked. Excitement was practically radiating out of JP with every word he spoke, it was no wonder why Wade was absolutely in love with him. From his excitement to his laugh- Oh god, that  _laugh_. Wade could listen to it all day if given the chance...

"Wait," JP padded his pockets, pulling out his ticket and reading it closely.

"That's my flight!" JP pulled his backpack over his shoulder before giving Molly a hug, her voice muffled slightly as she wished him a safe flight. He smiled, turning to give Wade a hug.

Oh, did Wade treasure the hug.

He hugged back tightly, he wanted to stay like that forever. Just being there in JP's arms was the best thing ever, he didn't even care if he missed his flight if it meant JP would stay.

Reluctantly though, he stepped back, his arms falling back to his sides as he said his last goodbyes to JP. Wade watched him go, he could hear Molly say something to him but wasn't paying attention to what she said. All he wanted was to be with JP.

**_All I can taste is this moment_ **   
_**And all I can breathe is your life** _   
_**When sooner or later it's over** _   
_**I just don't wanna miss you tonight** _

Their flight gets called thirty minutes later and the two of them get on their plane back home to Ohio. They get seated, the plane taking off and soon enough they're high in the sky. Wade looks over at Molly who had fallen asleep, and smiles sadly. He feels  _guilty_ , and it's eating at him as he imagines JP there with him instead. He sighs and pulls his phone out of his pocket. Soon enough he finds himself looking through the pictures he had taken during Pax.

Most of them are of JP.

Every moment of JP smiling and laughing replays in Wade's mind. Even now he can hear JP laughing at one thing or another and he feels his heart flip in his chest. He already misses him, it hadn't even been an hour, yet he misses him  _so much_...

"Wade?" Wade looks over at Molly who is rubbing her eyes, he turns off is screen and slides the phone into his pocket. She rests her head on his shoulder, letting out a sigh.

"Go to sleep, it's going to be a long flight" she says with a soft yawn. Wade looks back down at her, guilt resurfacing in him before he slouches back into his seat and dozes off. He doesn't complain when his dreams are infested with images of JP.

_**I** _ **_don't want the world to see me_ **   
**_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_ **   
_**When everything's meant to be broken** _   
**_I just want you to know who I am_ **

Wade drops his bag next to the wall as him and Molly sleepily enter their house. After a few moments of them shuffling around, petting Keeters and grabbing only their most needed things from their bags, the two make their way to bed. Wade's in bed first, his tired eyes stinging as he looks over a few messages from his phone. He turns it off as Molly gets in the bed, lights turning off seconds later to leave Wade in the dark.

His eyes close and once again JP fills his mind.  _God he never leaves me alone_. It's practically killing him. He feels as if apart of him is missing, broken almost, without JP. And the worst part is that he can't tell anyone, even if someone did know Wade knew they wouldn't understand. People would view him differently.

And then there is Molly. Oh Molly. She's amazing, wonderful, funny... Wade could spend hours listing things he loved about her. Yet he didn't want her. She loved him even though he doesn't love her back. He's selfish. How could he live with himself knowing all of this but yet staying with her? It's unfair to the both of them, but he keeps playing this never ending charade.

**_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming_ **   
_**Or the moment of truth in your lies** _   
**_When everything feels like the movies_ **   
_**Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive** _

Wade doesn't realize what has happened until Molly slams the door to their apartment. Wade could feel the sound echoing inside his ears as he watches Keeters skitter into another room. They had gotten in a fight over something, thinking about it now he couldn't remember, and she left. He clenched his fist, angry for only a second before it all turned into a heavy  _guilt_. And then nothing. He doesn't feel anything.

They've had fights before, while this was the first time Molly  _completely left_  after one. Wade wasn't too worried. He felt as if he should've been, they we're only a couple months away from their wedding. Idealy, Wade should've chased after her.

But he didn't.

So he made his way to his office, sitting down in his chair and leaning back with a sigh. It was in that moment that he decided on waiting a bit before calling her to apologise, he figured they both needed time to calm down. So, he sat at his computer, his eyes lighting up when he saw JP was online.

Wade sent JP a message, his heart flipping in his chest as soon as JP replied. Typing soon turned to talking, JP's sweet laugh echoing through Wade's headset. He's talking about something that Wade had zoned out during part way through, only to come back as JP asks a question.

Wade laughs, apologising.

JP laughs back, understanding.

But he doesn't. He'll never know what's going through Wade's mind, what's making him zone out so much. Why Wade seems to smile brighter when he's talking to JP. JP will never know any of it,

That's when Wade feels it again.

He can practically feel his heart break at the thought. Tears well up in his eyes but he blinks them away quickly, JP doesn't notice, he's now talking about something else, his eyes lighting up with excitement. All Wade can do is smile back, his heart falling apart with every second that goes by.

He sits there for a few more minutes, in full honestly Wade stopped paying attention to the time. But JP says he has to go, the call ending. Wade let's himself cry for the first time. All his emotions finally spilling over. Into a puddle of self pity.

**_I_ ** _**don't want the world to see me** _   
**_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_ **   
_**When everything's meant to be broken** _   
_**I just want you to know who I am** _

More months pass and Wade finds himself at his bachelor party. Drinks are being toasted, people are laughing and playing games, and Wade finds himself standing in the middle of it. He's more than a little intoxicated, the alcohol in his system giving him a calming buzz as he looks throughout the crowd. He spots JP standing off to the side with a drunken Gar and an wobbly Patrick.

Wade walks over to join them, the three waving to him as he gets near. They talk a little until Gar begins looking for Dan, Pat joining him on the search. So then it's just Wade and JP standing alone. JP is talking once again, Wade begins to reflect on how bad his listening skills are.

But he can't help that he can't pay attention, with the alcohol in his system and JP looking amazing tonight, it's a miracle Wade hasn't just kissed him.

So, he does.

His hands gently hold JP's face as he presses their lips together. He feels an odd feeling wash over him as their lips touch, JP's soft lips making Wade's heart beat faster. Then Wade begins to pull away, his logical thoughts cramming their way through.  _You're about to get married. It's only a few days away, what are you doing?_

As he moves back though, JP catches him, pulling him back into the kiss. JP's hands rest on the back of Wade's neck, pulling the two of them closer together. Their lips are now moving in sync, suddenly revealed feelings being expressed from both of them at once. JP smiles into the kiss as he runs his fingers up through Wade's hair before it ends, both of them pulling back at once.

Their chests rise and fall together, their faces bright red. JP's eyes are glowing, so many emotions swirling within them that Wade could get lost for hours trying to figure out what's hidden within them.

Instead, before JP can say anything, he says he has to leave. His steps unsteady as he leaves the party. His heart pounding in his chest the whole walk back to the hotel.

**_I just want you to know who I am..._ **

JP stands tall at the front of the church. People sit within the crowd most of them are smiling, though some of them are crying tars of joy. He doesn't know most of them, the majority being Wade and Molly's family.

Standing next to is Gar and Patrick, along with Mark, Bob, and a few others who were also picked to be Wade's best men. Standing at the end, in front of the alter, is Wade. Their eyes lock onto each other and the memory of the kiss from the previous night floods his mind. Wade smiles at him, it's a different smile. Not like the ones JP is used to seeing on Wade. It's more sad, a silent apology almost directed at JP.

Then the music kicks up, and everyone turns to watch as Molly begins walking down the isle. Her dress is white and flowy, she looks beautiful. JP then looks back at Wade who is smiling, in awe like everyone else as he waits for his bride to stand with him. And all JP can think is how lucky Molly is at this moment, how lucky she is to be marrying the best guy in the world.

He never realized he would miss out on such a good thing.


End file.
